Get Comfortable With The Uncomfortable
How many mothers and fathers writhe under the cries of their children when they are in their car seats? I constantly see it and have seen it numerous times with my nieces and nephews. They kick, scream, and cry because they do not want to be “confined” to this spot that keeps them safe irrespective of the duration of the trip. It could be 5 minutes or 5 hours, they seem to go through this bout of distress. What’s even more fascinating is when you are going to a desired destination of theirs – like when you are taking them to the toy store or the ice cream shop.
We, adults almost turn up our noses to these kids going through this agony whereas we are constantly in this state of being. There are lots of times that you are kicking and screaming going through experiences, relationships, changes. Some of us, settle in and let it pass while others simply kick and scream through it all.
Bottom line is, our path to freedom isn’t always smooth, rosy, or comfortable. We must find it within ourselves to get comfortable with the “uncomfortable.”
Being uncomfortable does not feel good in a way and it might feel like you are in that state longer than you want; however, going through this state helps improve your performance, helps you develop over time.
Kicking and screaming, Brittany, a 38 year-old lady, highly educated, built a career for herself, and is at the point where she wants more for herself – she wants to be more, do more, live her passion. She knows where her passion lies; she knows what she wants yet stays in the same routine day in and day out and feels totally unhappy and stuck; she describes her life like the “Walking Dead.”
I bet you are asking the same question – why won’t she simply go after her passion and what she desires? Brittany had to get comfortable with the “uncomfortable” journey to her desired destination. And that “uncomfortable journey” included her willing to be vulnerable with her family, letting them know she had to cut back on some spending in order to gather enough funds for what she wanted. She had to be willing to be wrong, and a big one for her was to “ask for help.”
So for years, Brittany lived in the comfort of being right, doing everything by herself, and being the “strong, independent woman” and dying inside while watching the clock tick and her passion get buried deeper and deeper until she decided and chose to get comfortable with the uncomfortable.
The good news is that we are miracles in it of itself – our brains are – once we go through new experiences, new challenges, your brain comes to light. You can call new experiences “food for the brain” and you then begin to build confidence to take even more risks and steps in the direction that you desire.
Below are some suggestions on how to get comfortable with the uncomfortable:
Declutter Your Brain
When you are feeling uncomfortable, you are more than likely cluttered and clouded and this is the time that you want to slow down and de-clutter. Ventilate onto paper; get ideas and concepts out of your head.
What am I Uncomfortable with?
Ask yourself what is making you uncomfortable? Ask this multiple times so that you get to the bottom of what exactly is causing this feeling. For example, Brittany was uncomfortable with asking for help; what about that made her uncomfortable? She felt she would seem weak in the eye of whomever she asked for help. So then we dug deeper, what about feeling weak makes you uncomfortable? She believed seemingly weak women got “beaten” on because she saw this trend as a child in her family. So she’d vowed she would never appear ‘weak’ so she wouldn’t get beaten. Lo and behold, this belief kept her locked up and away from her passion. So, peel the onion to get to the core.
Baby Steps Count
Many people discount their small wins. Celebrating the small wins help you in building your confidence to take more risks. So recall a time you felt that uncomfortable-ness and you moved forward anyways – And acknowledge yourself for it.
Find yourself a trusted accountability partner that can support you, cheer you on, and challenge you.
Make Your Move
Take one step towards that goal – towards that passion that you desire.
“The biggest risk is not taking any risk.” Says Mark Zuckerberg. And there is no way you will live out your passion if you do not take a chance. You must be willing to be comfortable with the uncomfortable to get to your level of success.
What is the thing you have been avoiding because you are afraid of being uncomfortable?
Bisi MacGregor is a Certified Fearless Life Coach & Trainer who helps women who feel lost unveil their potential, cultivate it and harvest the best version of their selves.
What she’s most passionate about: Helping women realize their potential and leading them to live a more fearless life
Her Clever Girl Super Power: Connection and Empathy
Keep up with her: www.SoWeElevate.com